Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I'm emo, that's why I'm here blogging now.
I don't want to tweet so much about emo thing, because I don't even know what to say.
I can't describe my mood now, I can't express my feeling now. This fucking speechless moment. :S

STRESS!!!
Although I'm having one week holiday, it doesn't seem like a holiday. It's a week for me to deal with assignments!!
There are so many things to care about, not only the studies, but there are still somethings that bother me.
I hope to have a carefree day, seriously just one day, please! I'm really hoping for it. :(

Some unhappy things happened between us. Hmm....I really don't know what to say. Until now, I still don't know what to say. I think we're fine right now but I still feel there's something weird between us. What's wrong with me?? Sighh. How good if I know what's wrong with me.

I start to doubt myself. I start to doubt, am I suit to be somebody's gf? am I really ready to be in a relationship all these while? am I good enough to be somebody's gf? Sometimes, I even think that I don't know how to be somebody's gf. All these things really stress me. I have no idea how to play this role well. I'm afraid I will say something wrong. From now on, I guess I've to be careful for everything I say.
the 'confidence' issue, yeah, I really shouldn't have told you. yeah, we shouldn't even talk about it.
for the 'console' issue, yeah, I'm really sucks in consoling. but before I typed the 'just chill' msg, I really did console you. However, everything I said to you seemed to be so wrong to you. I was speechless and I didn't know what else to say. This is the only thing I could say.

Now I start to miss the time when we were just friends, good friends. How happy we were. No problem at all. Things are really different when the relationship is different. Perhaps these are all the challenges that we need to go through, so I'm gonna take it as a test. I hope we can go through all these tests, don't let them beat us. I will stay strong, hope it's worth it. :)

Thanks to all these stress, I have lost appetite for 3 weeks. I was such a big eater, but now once I see the food, I'm full, I don't feel like eating. Look at the food is enough for me, lol. In other words, I've lost appetite. But I still eat, cos if not, I will suffer from gastric, so I have to eat. After I eat, I feel like puking all out but I can't. STRESS MUCH hor??? :'(

I hope everything is gonna be fine soon. :]